AND I WONDER IF YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS
Reject button. .
Its just a button, on any phone. Whether it says reject or ignore, its such a powerful message. He pushed it, more than once, more than a few times. I wonder how he expected me to feel. Did he even think about how that little button has affected me?
I wanted you the first day I saw you. On the second day, I cared for you, and on the third day, I knew that I wanted to fall in love with you. We talked. We both just came out of a long term relationship, and even though I wasn’t looking for another one, I was willing to have another one with you. I figured you out. I know what makes you upset, sad, and happy. I know what your hobbies and passions are ,and I know what you love. I even know who you loved. But who do you love, who do you care about? Its it me, your ex, or your prom date. Who could it be? I learned my lesson babe. I learned you, and I didn’t like what I was being taught. Things would change, be patient, and just wait. I waited, I listened, and I watched. Your pattern with me didn’t change. Weeks and sometimes even months I went without hearing your voice. I hung in there. Talking with you was like coming up for air, very ensuring. You sometimes reassured me that you liked me and that you were really interested. But just hearing your voice did the job. Looking back, I swore that the feelings were mutual. You cant tell me that they were. How could you treat me like this if they were? How could I get you to change, to love me like I loved you. May 17, it happened. I was your girlfriend and you were my boyfriend. Together finally, and hopefully forever, well, at least longer than this. I had faith in my plan. I was floating and sitting on cloud nine. That night, we shared our first kiss, and I felt the sparks. When a first kiss is shared with me, and I felt the tingles, then I really liked you no matter what. Those tingles let me know that my heart is genuinely in it for the long haul. You could have been lying when you said you felt it too. This is night eight. Believe me I wanted to stick through it. I didn’t want to be like your ex, and you did tell me that this relationship was going to be tough, and I was willing, and I accepted it, but you weren’t and you didn’t. I was willing to deal with your busy schedule, but you couldn’t fit me in. All I wanted was literally just a minute, and if not every day, then every other day. I was willing, but it didn’t happen. You would never know this, along with a lot of other things that you will never know about me, but I’m very demanding. I demand your attention and I demand your love, I demand your eyes and my demands are above. I was willing to compromise. I was willing to push away some of my traits, and my selfish ways just to make you and us happy. How stupid could I really be? I should have known that if you didn’t change back then, then you was never going to change. I knew how you was and your pattern and I was dumb to think I could be your girl with the lifestyle you live and to think I could change you. Young, handsome, independent, and care free, what girl wouldn’t want to be with you. Wish this never would have started. But its destiny and I was born to stand in your line and be shot down by you. Just like I was born to fall in love with someone, marry him and have a happy ending. But for now, I walk through the cemetery of all your exs, heartbreaks and lost loves.
Why are girls drawn to the wrong kind of guy! It must be true that good girls love bad boys. And if this is true, then who do bad boys love? What’s left for the good girls of the world? What are we left with when we cant have our bad boys because he’ll stab our hearts, and we don’t do good boys, because they would just put us to sleep. What’s a girl to do? Is there only good and bad?
STRIVING TO BE LIMBO
